šļø A Voice Long Waiting to Speak
For many years, Iāve felt something stirring deep insideāsomething Iāve never been quite able to say out loud. I didnāt have the chance. Or maybe I didnāt have the words.
I once tried writing a memoir of my time in the military. That didnāt pan out. After retirement, I picked up photographyāgot pretty good at it, too. But even that, as rewarding as it was, didnāt fill the deeper longing thatās been simmering in my heart most of my life. Something was always missing.
š§ Lost in the Fog of a Generation
I grew up full of energy, but lacking the kind of spiritual compass that mightāve kept me on a straighter road. Coming of age in the late 1960s, when everything seemed to be up for protestāincluding the Vietnam Warāleft me wrapped in a kind of moral fog that clung to me through much of my working years and even into retirement.
I could sense a light out there somewhereādistant and dimābut I couldnāt figure out what it was. My career path meandered. Sometimes I succeeded. Other times I hit dead ends. Depression would set in and hang around longer than I knew how to handle.
šļø A Collapse I Didnāt See Coming
Just as I approached retirement, things went sideways in a hurry. From the outside, life looked good. My job was steady. My kids were grown and doing well. My wife and I were living in a fifth-wheel trailer on the California coast. But inside, I was falling apart.
I walked away from my job and moved back to Oregonāno clear plan, no medical insurance, no clue what came next.
šŖ Finding Help at the Vet Center
I found myself at the VA, and one of the reps urged me to be checked for PTSD. That decision led me to the Vet Center, an organization founded by Vietnam vets to help combat veterans and survivors of sexual trauma.
And thatās where two angels entered my story.
One was a Vietnam veteran turned Red Cross sociologist. The other, a wise and seasoned psychologist who had spent years with vets from WWII, Korea, and Vietnam. It took them months, but they helped me finally understandāI had been living with PTSD for decades.
š¤ Healing in Brotherhood
Over the next ten years, I sat in group therapy with men who had walked a similar road. All Vietnam veterans. Most of us had built long careers. We looked like we had it all together. But behind the curtain, we were wrecked. And we knew it.
We shared a burden and a purpose. We wanted to reach younger vetsāhelp them find peace before they reached collapse. We talked for hours across the years, wrestling with how to help them see what we couldnāt see until it was almost too late.
But there was always that wall: denial. Young vets, like us, didnāt want to admit they were struggling. Not until the pain knocked the wind out of them.
āļø When the Light Broke Through
Then came something new. A change I never saw coming.
A few years ago, I slowly began to find faith. It didnāt happen all at once. It began with one passionate voice for Jesus and the warm embrace of a small, rural church in Oregon. A church where people didnāt pretend to be perfectāthey just leaned on Jesus.
The fog began to lift. The light that had once seemed so far off? It was Jesus. And He had never stopped shining.
For the first time in my life, I felt a peace I couldnāt explaināand didnāt want to let go of.
š£ Why Iām Speaking Up Now
So why now? Why this blog? Why the podcast and all the rest?
Because God called me. He gave me a second chance and some hard-won giftsāstorytelling, listening, writing, and a heart that hurts for broken people. Iām using every bit of it to reach out to troubled souls, especially fellow veterans, and help guide them toward the bright light of Christ.
I believe this is the mission for the last chapter of my lifeāa purpose that makes sense of all the wandering that came before.
š What This Website Is All About
This site is still a work in progressālike me. But hereās what I hope it will become:
- š Sermons that speak plainly and truthfully about hope and faith
- šļø Podcasts that dig into real-life stories of struggle, recovery, and redemption
- šļø Veteran Interviews that honor the journey of those whoāve served
- š Reflections and encouragement for anyone fighting through darkness
- š¬ Conversations about life, loss, healing, and above allāJesus
And maybe a few surprises along the way.
ā¤ļø If I Can Help Just Oneā¦
Iāve often said: If I can help just one troubled personā¦
If I can help one young veteran find Jesus and the peace He offers,
Then it will all be worth it.
I believe Godās not done with me yetāand if youāre reading this, maybe Heās not done with you either.
š© Letās Walk This Road Together
If any of this hits close to home, stick around. Reach out. Subscribe to the podcast. Share the blog with someone who might need it. Youāre not aloneāand you donāt have to walk through the fog by yourself anymore.
šĀ Published by Mountain Veteran Ministries
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