Why Am I Doing This?

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For many years I have been wanting to say something to people about how I feel. Until now, I have not had the opportunity or the public speaking skills to say these things. I have tried writing a memoir of my military experience, but to no avail. I tried my hand at photography which worked out for a while after retirement (I really got pretty good at it) until I slowly figured out it did not fill the need that has boiled up in me for most of my life. Something has always been missing. 

In my youth, I had the energy, but not the guiding light to steer me down the narrow path. Growing to adulthood in the late sixties during the protests of everything including the Vietnam War put a blanket of moral fog around me for most of my working life and well into retirement. I could not break out. I could see a dim light in the distance and I knew something was there but had no idea what it was. I struggled with job opportunities and more likely than not moved into places completely out my lane. Sometimes I was half way successful and others not so much. I went through periods I now recognize as depression some lasting longer than others.

As I approached retirement my life took a serious downturn. Again, I had no idea why. At the time, my job was good, my kids were good, my wife was good and we lived on a California beach in a new 5^th wheel trailer. I pretty much completely fell apart. I quit my job and moved back to Oregon with no visible means of support or medical insurance. 

I ended up at the VA looking for medical care and the VA Rep highly suggested that I be examined for PTSD. I landed at the Vet Center which was founded by Vietnam veterans in the late sixties. The Vet Center deals with combat veterans and sexual battery victims exclusively. I was salvaged by two Angels. One, a Vietnam veteran Red Cross sociologist and the other a Psychologist with many years experience working with Vietnam, Korea and WWII combat veterans. After many months, they convinced me I had PTSD.

For the next ten years I attended group therapy with a bunch of guys with the same issues at the approach to retirement after long professional careers. All were Vietnam veterans. We all developed a strong desire to find a way to help the young veterans approach these issues early and not wait until total collapse and living for 40 years not knowing what happened to them. We talked for many hours over the years and could not land on a plan leading to a probable success. As we all did, the young veterans will deny a problem exists until they become overwhelmed and most of the time, incapacitated.

I came to faith a few short years ago slowly with the help of a passionate voice for Jesus and the fellowship of a small country church in rural Oregon. The fog slowly went away and the bright light of Jesus came shining through. I began to feel more at peace than ever before in my life.

So, why am I doing this?

I am called by God to use the gifts he gave me to help veterans and all troubled souls find their way through the fog to the guiding bright light of Jesus. I am spending the last part of life with the hope of helping people to find their faith and accept Jesus as their savior.

This website is a constant work in progress that will share sermons, podcasts, interviews with veterans and people of faith and much more I haven’t thought of yet.

I have long said if I can impact one troubled person, help one young veteran find their way to Jesus and the peace if offers, I will consider all will be worth it.